Motherhood Today - Substack

The Feeding Wars

How the Breastfeeding Versus Formula Feeding Debate has Fueled a Generation of Guilty Mothers

Breastfeeding versus formula feeding. The two feeding options for mothers are often met with vitriol online by many who say breastfeeding is the only option. This pressure has left mothers feeling guilt over their decision to formula feed. Although, this was not always the case. The so called “milk-wars” began much earlier and is still pervasive today.

Throughout history mothers have mostly breastfed, although early historical evidence indicates that other options were available to affluent mothers, such as wet nurses. Feeding vessels made from various materials such as wood, ceramic or horns have been discovered, dating back from 2000 BC[1] suggesting feeding alternatives are not necessarily new.

https://www.lactation-911.com/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding/
Mother and Baby. Lactation 911.

However, the rapid rise of industrialization around the late 19th century drastically changed the way mothers feed their babies and child-rearing in general. With mechanized systems of operating, doctors began advising mothers to place their babies on strict feeding schedules as opposed to feeding on demand. This shift in feeding created a problem for mothers who began experiencing issues in their milk supply.

This is where the intense cultural shift happens.

With mothers unable to breastfeed due to poor milk supply and demands of industrialized society, doctors began prescribing formula which was done by modifying cow’s milk. Advances in sterilization practices also led to safer bottles or feeding instruments for infants. The development of infant formula continued into the 20th century where the general mainstream sentiment became dismissive of breastfeeding all together. By the 1950’s mothers were pushed to used formula and abandon breastfeeding as an option. It was seen as primitive or old-fashioned. Some breastfeeding women were shunned or leered at in disgust by members of the public for choosing to breastfeed their infant.

It wasn’t until another cultural shift in the 1970’s that would begin a new era for breastfeeding. Rebecca Corey notes, “The Women’s Health Movement began pushing against post-World War II norms such as heavily medicated births, and advocating for more bodily autonomy and control over health decisions[2].”

grayscale photo of baby feeding
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

By the 1990’s and 2000’s, public health campaigns collided with public sentiment around breastfeeding and formula feeding. Public health campaigns endorsed breastfeeding as the best option while counter campaigns under the phrase “Fed is best” advocated for simply feeding your child however you were capable of doing so.

Associate Director of Undergraduate programs at the University of Pennsylvania’s History and Sociology of Science Department says, “We are still in a society that is clearly wrestling with how we’re going to treat and value women[3].”

The popular rise in mom blogs and social media in the early 2000’s helped the “Fed is Best” movement, but now the pendulum has swung the other way. Tradwife content continues to feature “traditional mothers” caring for their children and supposedly “doing-it-all” while making it look effortless. Including breastfeeding. What seems like a subtle video of a perfectly dressed, and manicured mother breastfeeding her baby becomes, in a way, a type of pedestal motherhood glorifying what can be a complicated and psychologically challenging task.

The School of Social Policy, Sociology and Social Research at the University of Kent studied mother’s feelings about switching to formula rather than continuing to breastfeed. 405 out of the total 503 interviewees had fed their baby formula by the time they were interviewed. 32% of mother felt a sense of failure about not breastfeeding, however 88% were relieved that the baby was being fed[4].

Mother’s described their feelings of guilt like so:

You know, just that you’re such a failure because all you’ve got to do for this baby is feed it and if you just can’t do that, or you’re having problems with that you must be rubbish, you know, so you’re beating yourself up about it and I really believe that…if anything’s going to give you depression it’s that, because you can’t get any help.[5]

“There were nights where you know I’d be here feeding him, my husband would be sleeping because obviously he had to go to work the next day and I’d just cry because I was trying so hard to breastfeed him. And it’s like feeling the guilt of giving him, having in the end to resort to bottles because he wouldn’t drink from me.[6] “

Mother’s want to do what’s best for their children, sometimes to the detriment to their care, but there must be a balance. The pressure to breastfeed rather than formula feed can be harmful to mothers, especially new mothers. While public health campaigns aim to bring new policy change to mothers such as universal paid maternity leave and reduced stigma surrounds breastfeeding, the feeding choice of mother’s is no one else’s business. We should champion maternal health policies like those mentioned above and support mothers who both breastfeed and formula feed.

Mothers have enough to worry about. Don’t be another voice that brings them down.


[1] Stevens, E. E., Patrick, T. E., & Pickler, R. (2009). A history of infant feeding. Journal of Perinatal Education18(2), 32–39. https://doi.org/10.1624/105812409×426314

[2] Corey, R. (2022, August 22). A history of breastfeeding and formula shaming: How did we get here?. Yahoo! https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/history-breastfeeding-formula-shaming-161727806.html

[3] Corey, R. (2022, August 22). A history of breastfeeding and formula shaming: How did we get here?. Yahoo! https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/history-breastfeeding-formula-shaming-161727806.html

[4] Lee, E., & Furedi, F. (2025, June). Mothers’ experience of, and attitudes to, using infant formula in … https://kar.kent.ac.uk/25249/1/Infant_Formula-Full%5Bfinal%5D.pdf

[5] Lee, E., & Furedi, F. (2025, June). Mothers’ experience of, and attitudes to, using infant formula in … https://kar.kent.ac.uk/25249/1/Infant_Formula-Full%5Bfinal%5D.pdf

[6] Lee, E., & Furedi, F. (2025, June). Mothers’ experience of, and attitudes to, using infant formula in … https://kar.kent.ac.uk/25249/1/Infant_Formula-Full%5Bfinal%5D.pdf

137 Comments on “The Feeding Wars

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  98. Liked the way the post balanced confidence and humility, and a stop at marineharbor maintained the same balance, knowing when to assert and when to acknowledge uncertainty is a sign of mature thinking and the writers here have clearly developed that calibration through what I assume is years of careful work on their craft.

  99. Felt like the post had been edited rather than just drafted and published, and a stop at motorzenith suggested the same care across the site, the difference between edited and unedited content is enormous for the reader and this site has clearly invested in the editing pass that most blogs skip entirely which really does show up.

  100. Really nice to see things explained without overcomplicating the topic, the words flow naturally and stay easy to follow, and a short visit to laughingnova only added to that experience because the same simple approach is used across the rest of the page too without any change in tone.

  101. Better signal to noise ratio than most places I check on this kind of topic, and a look at modernhorizon kept that going, every paragraph here carries something worth reading rather than padding out the page to hit some arbitrary length target that search engines reward but readers ignore as soon as they notice it.

  102. Worth marking this site as one to come back to deliberately rather than by accident, and a stop at glamourvista reinforced that intention, the difference between sites I find again by chance and sites I return to on purpose is meaningful and this one has clearly moved into the deliberate return category for me.

  103. Reading this confirmed something I had been suspecting about the topic, and a look at actionmapsuccess pushed that confirmation toward greater confidence, content that lines up with independently held intuitions earns a special kind of trust and I will return to writers who consistently land that way for me without overselling positions.

  104. If you asked me to point to a recent positive sign for the open web this site would be near the top, and a stop at clarityfirstgrowth reinforced that designation, the few sites that serve as evidence the web can still produce quality independent content are precious and this one has clearly become one for me.

  105. Reading more of the archives is now on my plan for the weekend, and a stop at actionoverhesitation confirmed the archive worth the time, the rare archive worth a dedicated reading session rather than just casual sampling is the rare archive of serious work and this site has clearly produced enough of that work to warrant the deeper exploration.

  106. Started reading skeptically because the headline seemed overconfident, and the post earned the headline by the end, and a look at buildwithmotion continued that pattern of earning its claims, sites that can back up their headlines without overpromising are rare and this one has clearly developed editorial calibration on that front consistently.

  107. Most of my reading time goes to a small number of trusted sources and this one is now joining that group, and a stop at progressmapping reinforced the group membership, the few sites that earn a place in my regular rotation are sites I expect ongoing returns from and this one has earned that elevated position consistently.

  108. Honestly impressed by how much useful content sits in such a small post, and a stop at savingharbor confirmed the rest of the site packs a similar punch, density without confusion is a hard balance to strike and this site has clearly cracked the code on it across many different topic areas covered.

  109. Honestly enjoyed not being sold anything for the entire duration of the post, and a look at urbanbartender kept that pleasant absence going across more pages, content that exists for its own sake rather than as a funnel to a paid product is increasingly rare and worth supporting where I can find it.

  110. Great work on keeping things readable, the post never drags or repeats itself which I really appreciate, and a stop at actiondrivenoutcomes added a bit more context that fit naturally with what was already said here, no need to read everything twice to get the point being made today.

  111. Liked that the post acknowledged complications rather than pretending they did not exist, and a stop at discountnexus continued that honest framing, sites that handle complexity with care rather than papering it over with simplifying claims are doing real intellectual work and this one is clearly in that category based on what I have read.

  112. Took something from this I did not expect to find, and a stop at brightacademy added another unexpected useful piece, content that exceeds expectations rather than just meeting them is the kind that builds enthusiasm and earns repeat visits without any explicit ask from the writer or platform behind the work being read.

  113. Felt like the writer was speaking directly to someone with my level of curiosity, neither talking down nor showing off, and a stop at velvetorbit kept that comfortable matching going, finding writing that meets you where you are rather than asking you to climb up or stoop down feels great every time it happens.

  114. Speaking from the perspective of having read widely on the topic this site offers something distinct, and a look at clarityactivates reinforced that distinctness, the rare site that contributes something genuinely original to a saturated topic is the rare site worth following carefully and this one has demonstrated that original contribution capability today.

  115. Now recognising the post as a rare example of careful writing on a topic that mostly receives careless treatment, and a stop at urbanmarket extended that contrast with the average elsewhere, content that highlights how much the average is settling for low quality is content that has both internal merit and external value as a benchmark.

  116. Started reading expecting to disagree and ended mostly nodding along, and a look at visiondirection continued the pattern, content that wins agreement through evidence and reasoning rather than rhetorical force is the kind that actually shifts minds and this site clearly knows how to do that across what I have read so far.

  117. Now planning a longer reading session for the archives, and a stop at buildforwardtraction confirmed the archives are worth that longer commitment, sites with archives I want to read deliberately rather than just sample are rare and this one has clearly earned that level of interest based on the consistency of what I have already read.

  118. Probably the best thing I have read on this topic in the past month, and a stop at fitnessnexus extended that ranking, the casual ranking of recent reading is informal but real and this site has been winning those rankings for me on this topic specifically over the last several weeks of regular reading sessions.

  119. A piece that reads as if the writer trusted readers to fill in obvious gaps, and a look at urbanlatino continued that respectful approach, content that does not over explain what the reader can infer is content that respects intelligence and this site has clearly chosen to write to capable readers rather than to the lowest common denominator.

  120. Reading this felt productive in a way most internet reading does not, and a look at growthwithintent continued that productive feeling, sometimes the open web feels like a waste of time but sites like this remind me why I still bother to look around rather than retreating to old reliable sources for everything I need.

  121. A piece that reads as if the writer trusted readers to fill in obvious gaps, and a look at actionwithsignal continued that respectful approach, content that does not over explain what the reader can infer is content that respects intelligence and this site has clearly chosen to write to capable readers rather than to the lowest common denominator.

  122. Now feeling the quiet pleasure of finding writing that takes itself seriously without being self serious, and a stop at moveideaswithpurpose extended that subtle pleasure, the gap between earnest and pretentious is fine and this site has clearly chosen to land on the earnest side without slipping over into pretentious which is impressive.

  123. Really like that the writer trusts the reader to follow simple logic without restating every previous point, and a stop at pathwaytoaction kept that respect going, treating an audience as capable adults rather than as people who need constant hand holding makes a noticeable difference in the reading experience for me.

  124. Reading this felt easy in the best way, no friction and no confusion at any point, and a stop at pixelgallery carried that same comfort across more pages, the kind of editorial flow that lets you absorb information without fighting the format which is increasingly hard to find on the open web today across topics.

  125. Skipped past the first paragraph thinking it was setup and had to come back when the rest referenced it, and a stop at modernvertex similarly rewarded careful reading from the start, content where every paragraph carries weight is content I now know to read from the beginning rather than skipping ahead.

  126. Worth a quiet moment of recognition for the consistency I have noticed across multiple posts, and a stop at darkvoyager continued that consistent quality, sites that maintain quality across many pieces rather than peaking on one viral post are sites with real editorial discipline and this one has clearly developed that discipline carefully.

  127. Reading this gave me a small jolt of recognition for an experience I thought was just mine, and a stop at socialcircle produced more such jolts, content that universalises private experiences without flattening them is doing genuinely useful work and this site is providing that recognition function for me reliably across topics I read.

  128. Genuinely good work, the kind that holds up over multiple readings without losing its appeal, and a stop at activehorizon kept that going, definitely a site I will be returning to and probably mentioning to others who work in or care about this particular area of interest today and in coming weeks.

  129. Solid information that lines up with what I have been hearing from other reliable sources, and after my visit to claritycreatesadvantage I was even more certain of that, this site checks out which is something I value highly when so many places online play loose with the facts to chase a quick click.

  130. Found the use of subheadings really helpful for scanning back through the post later, and a stop at motionwithmeaning kept that reader friendly approach going, navigation is something many blog writers ignore but small structural choices make a noticeable difference for someone returning to find a specific point again days or weeks later.

  131. Worth recognising that the post handled a familiar topic without reaching for any of the obvious hot takes, and a stop at rapidcourier continued that fresh treatment, sites that find new angles on subjects others have exhausted are sites worth following carefully and this one has clearly developed that exploratory instinct through patient practice.

  132. Walked away with a clearer head than I had before reading this, and a quick visit to goldenbarrel only sharpened that, the writing has a way of cutting through the noise that surrounds most topics online which is something I will definitely remember the next time I am searching for an answer to anything.

  133. Useful reading material, the kind I can hand off to someone newer to the topic without worrying about confusing them, and a quick look at executionpathway confirmed the same beginner friendly tone runs throughout the site which is great for sharing with people just starting their learning journey on this particular topic.

  134. Speaking carefully because I do not want to overstate things this site is genuinely above average across multiple measurements, and a stop at digitaljournal continued the above average performance, the calibration of judgement against potential overstatement is something I take seriously and this site clears the higher bar even after that calibration applies.

  135. Felt slightly impressed without being able to point to one specific reason, and a look at inkedvoyager continued that diffuse positive feeling, when content works at a level you cannot easily articulate the writer is doing something with craft rather than just delivering information and that is something I have learned to recognise.

  136. Probably going to mention this site in a write up I am working on later this month, and a stop at growwithprecision provided more material for that potential mention, content worth referencing in my own published work rather than just personal reading is content with the highest endorsement level and this site has earned that endorsement.

  137. Worth saying that the writing carries a particular kind of authority without making any explicit claims to it, and a stop at intentionalprogression extended that earned authority feeling, sites that demonstrate expertise through the quality of their explanations rather than by stating credentials are sites I trust most and this site has it.

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